macaroon

it's hard to resist these, look at all the pics, so tempting!!!! even though i'm not a fancy-coloured-food fan, i do have to admit, it's irresistible! thumbs up from me :)

(i don't own the pics, got it from Google)

hayley williams

"Any struggle or pain that you experience just get you to the top and you can’t get there without making the climb. A few years later, you won’t remember exactly the way the pain felt or how long it took, you’ll remember the view from the top. In fact, you might smile at the fact you had to work to get there." - hayley

Sesame Street: Bruno Mars: Don't Give Up

Don't give up my friends, we got Elmo and the gang! XD

kfcm

i shall say, i'm amazed with my own reaction when someone insulted our national team due to their losses to Bahrain recently. i am more amazed on how attached i feel to this one particular team, the one and only, Harimau Muda. my friends thought it was strikingly odd and unusual for me, who never have the slightest interest on any soccer matches, let alone watch one suddenly have the passion, interest and eagerness. epic! i should tell you something, in my whole life, i never watch a complete match till today, well at least i tried to watch the whole match of Malaysia-Indonesia, but the rain caused some disruptions and thanks to Astro, i missed the first 20 minutes. never mind though, it was a good game. i'm proud of them! i am still proud of them even though they lost to Syria and Bahrain, well it's a game, sometimes you're on top, sometimes you're at the bottom. it's funny just to hear myself fend for them, giving my full support through rise and fall. i bet u won't see me doing this before, hehe... i guess he made me changed my mind :P

jerk

i'm in deep stress, i'm miserable and i'm being a jerk.

and i have test at 3pm. feel like crying now.

I HATE MYSELF!!!!

re: cinderella man

i can't help but notice there's a lot of visitors from Indonesia visiting my post - cinderella man these few days, i bet it's on air at your local tv station isn't it? hope you'll enjoy the drama as much as i do, especially my handsome man, Kwon Sang Woo, hehe :)

the one that got away

i don't know how and why but i keep having these related weird dreams coming to me almost every night. is there any meaning behind all of these? only Allah knows...

p/s: i was thinking to post "the one that got away" vid instead of this, but there's no full vid yet, nwm, i still love my david cook more, lol :)

changes

dear blog,

i found it unnecessary to post something here especially when i keep writing-erase it-writing again-and erase it again!but i managed to write this one...

well final year is being a bit harsh to me, i'm losing lots of hair due to stress! seriously, i did expect these to come (i mean the busyness and the stress, not the hair loss!) but sometimes, i lost my grip on it. i failed to handle it somehow, lost to my own rage and defeat.

what can i say, people change, so do i...

i found a new part of me, the part where i make my stand and say what's on my mind straight away. maybe it's already there in my blood, but i didn't realize it till this semester. i'm voicing out my opinions, arguing, defending of what i think is right. i didn't say that i did nothing to stand up for my opinions before, but i prefer to make it less apparent. not anymore folks! well it's good to be able to be outspoken, but in some situation, i have to say that i do regret to say it out loud, when you hurt someone's feeling with your bold statements. sorry people, my bad!

someone said to me that i argue a lot these days-have to agree on that. poor roomate, she has to listen to all my dissatisfaction and discontentedness. i promise to you that i'll try to be more patient in future, hope i can control myself and THINK carefully before making any statements or comments.

"Towards a better personality, insyaAllah"

lightweight

takdir Allah

kalau Allah sudah takdirkan sesuatu itu untuk kita, walau seluruh isi alam ini menghalang kita dari mendapatkannya, kita tetap akan dapat jua. Tetapi jika Allah sudah takdirkan sesuatu itu BUKAN untuk kita, walau seluruh isi alam ini membantu kita untuk mendapatkannya, tetap kita tak akan dapat. - quoted from Rakan Masjid facebook

boredom

raya is almost meaningless to me this year. the most boring raya i've ever had.
believe me.

quotes

quote

quoted from my friend's Facebook status, totally agree with it!





coz just a simple SMS can make me smile for the whole day :)

hair

i had a dream last nite, i dyed my hair auburn. yes auburn. go Google it - auburn hair. well, actually i wanted to dye my hair brown but somehow i bought the wrong colour?

the funny part was, i was soooo freakin scared that my dad would kill me if he knows i dyed my hair auburn. the colour was quite nice though. LOL! y i had this weird dream? like i would dye my hair? hahaha funny isn't it? :P



p/s: i thought i won't be having weird dreams during Ramadhan

2nd home

I know it's a lil bit exaggerate but i do feel like Sarawak is my second home,
what can i say, I LOVE Sarawak! I love my friends there, friends that i met during that 8 months. I miss them already!
I'm in the process of claiming for Air Asia's insurance, if i manage to claim it, i'll get rm200 voucher (due to the delay). then i can buy ticket for hari raya at Sarawak!!! :D

ok i'm too excited here! wish that i'll get the voucher, so i can use it as an excuse to go to Sarawak, since it's a free ticket, weeee!!!!!!!!! XD




p/s: Happy Ramadhan everyone, hope it's a bless for all of us :)

don't trust me

WARNING: this post is all about me. like it always be.

i have serious major problem here. MAJOR i mean it a VERY BIG problem.
i have to write it down fast before i forgot, because that's my problem.
MEMORY LOSS. don't know whether it's a long term or short term thing.

according to Dr. NISA, it's a severe problem.
i had it like since long time ago, and i still can't find the reason.
obviously i don't eat ants, if that's your guess, and i'm totally not going to drink water with insects, ant especially inside it. gross!

so, how serious my memory loss is?
i still can remember my name though, so maybe u can say it's not that bad.
my situations here are:

Situation #1: I remember the event but I don't remember the timeline
for example; i knew that i met my supervisor to ask him something, but when was it? was it yesterday or last 2 days? the right answer: this morning. i felt like it was ages. that's how bad it can be.

Situation #2: i can't remember what i did last night
i had this situation for many many many times. it's troublesome really.

Situation #3: i can't remember a thing at all.
the worst part of my memory loss. it's frustrating when i totally can't remember some things. i hate it when i argue with my friends on something that i believe it didn't happen but actually it did but i don't remember it. it happens most of the time i guess. errr, can't remember -_-"

Situation #4: i said "dah lama tak ......". TIPU. BIG FAT LIAR. i just did it few days ago. so don't take it 100%. sometimes i accidentally lie to u coz i don't remember it exactly.


see how bad my memory is?
looking on the bright side, it did me good things when u have memory loss, especially when u are angry with someone. i can forgive that person easily when i forgot the anger, the hate and the issues. it helps me to heal my heart after the heartbreak. i can forget the heartache...

whatever it is, just hope i do remember u when we meet. hope it don't get any worse than this.

iridescent

When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down
Insides crying, "Save me now"
You were there impossibly alone
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go
Let it go
And in a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space
No one there to catch you in their arms
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go
Let it go

me love

can i get a kiss from Charles Kelley please?? haha kidding! :P

drama

i wish you read this, you know who you are

i wonder if you know what you're doing right now is wrong, coz i find it's difficult to believe you, the soft spoken person that i knew are doing that shamelessly. maybe you are confused or maybe that's who you are exactly. if then, i guess you are a fake person and you are shameless. May Allah bless you. May Allah shows you the right path.

and i wonder what action should i take. between right and wrong. which ever decision i choose, i know it's going to hurt. O Allah, please shows me Your Guidance.


sincerely,
the angry observer

courage

and i don't have that courage.

beautiful creatures

my way to kill the time, even though i'm not a bookworm, i think this book is worth a reading. 156 pages to go. let's see if i'll give it a good rating after finishing it :)

* * *

Comment: i really like this book! first book ever that made me bought it (i'm not really a book lover, so i only read the e-book). really worth every ringgit of it. now i'm currently reading the sequel of the story... Beautiful Darkness

I ALREADY BOUGHT THESE TWO BOOKS!!!!

pretty ugly

just now on fb, lots of my friends are talking bout beauty on their status/post, what are beauty in their point of view, for example:

"dark guy is fine. dark ladies,isn't fine ooh.."

when i saw this status, i can't help but feel to share my thought about it...
first of all, yup i'm not in the "fair lady" group, so obviously it concerned me a bit. but i think i'm getting used to the idea of "the fairer the better" so it doesn't hurt me at all, neutral. good for me i guess. but (again) i wonder, why people are having this unfair mindset about skin colour? why is it being fair is being considered as good and dark is bad? especially for ladies...isn't it bias?

if guys think only fair lady is considered pretty, i think the number of unmarried ladies will be jumped up very high, including me, unmarried. wow, that's serious...i'm sick of this, not going to write any further (a short thought, i know). whatever it is, you are beautiful no matter who you are,ok people, let's enjoy the vid :)

Lenka - Heart Skips A Beat

my heart skips a beat! XD

work

it's almost 5 months for us being an intern here. I believe I gained plenty of knowledge and information and at least from knowing nothing I do know something. one of lesson learned being a trainee is don't be too humble, do show what's your contribution. easy way to say it; show off your work. we have to, or else, they think you're lazy and doing nothing at work. but even though you're showing it, do your job sincerely, it will be more appreciated and you won't feel like being forced to do it.

oh for those who didn't know what's my job, well... my job doesn't require me to wear formal/feminine. when my housemates busy choosing what to wear to work tomorrow, i just need to worry whether i have clean shorts and singlets to wear. simple. the bad part is, i'm getting too used to wearing them, so when i was wearing baju kurung like yesterday,i'm kinda rough. tidak sopan.




tak tahu nak merapu apa lagi, sampai sini sajalah ye, tata bloggers!

suffocated

trapped between two. i want my freedom. from this. but sometimes i love being trapped in here. don't want to get rationale. have to agree to my friend's fb status : if only i could lie to myself

words

"I sound stupid if I speak in Malay" - Sharifah Amani


Totally against that statement. Be true to yourself. I'm proud that I can speak in Malay fluently, but i have to admit that I do avoid writing in Malay because i don't want to sound 'jiwang' (errr can't find suitable English word for this one). Can't help it coz i feel like if I'm writing in Malay, it'll convey more meaning than it should.heheh

That's why i prefer listening to English songs rather than Malay songs. Since English is my second language, it sounds less 'jiwang' when you say the lovey dovey words.LOL.

Plus, i like to use the lyrics to express my current feeling, i did check on the lyrics before i posted the videos on my fb/blog. Really enjoy using songs as the medium. Except when u shared wrong song to the wrong person -_-"

Anyway, song for my current situation : Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

sportswoman

i can say that last week was sport week for me, very SPORTY! it was fun and enjoyable with the netball and futsal tournament, i'm proud to join LOTUS team :)

tomorrow, we'll continue with volleyball tournament, hope we can give our best!!!

girlfriends

i'm seriously missing my past and present girlfriends, especially those who shared the laughter and pain with me... they r my backbone besides of my family, because of them, i made through till this point

thank you girls, i dedicate this post for you :)

Who You Are

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, 

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, 

There's nothing wrong with who you are

entri

baru tersedar, sejak dua menjak ni, entri blog banyak bertemakan perasaan.marah.benci.suka.duka.keliru.semua ada.

mungkin sebab blog tempat terbaik untuk luahkan apa yang tak terkongsi dengan keluarga dan rakan-rakan. tapi tak sangka, ada juga yang membaca, terima kasih kerana meluangkan masa ;)

cakap pasal hati, teringat sebelum ni pernah terdetik "kan best kalau ada orang suka aku, tak kisah lah kalau orang tu aku tak suka ke apa, asalkan ada orang suka aku". mungkin kata-kata tu telah menjadi doa yang termakbul. terlajak kata, menyesal rasanya. jangan dibuat main-main soal hati. bunyi memang macam best ada orang yang berminat dengan kita, tapi tidak lagi best apabila orang itu berpotensi membawa bahaya kepada anda.pening kepala. apatah lagi apabila ada orang lain di hati anda. mulalah hati berkata lagi "kan best kalau orang yang suka aku tu adalah orang yang aku suka" . nahhh, secara tak langsung terdoa lagi. bahaya lagi. tak semestinya orang yang kita suka tu adalah yang terbaik bagi kita.

hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Dia yang Maha Mengetahui. Subhanallah. jadi, sebelum keluarkan kata-kata, fikir dahulu.

Ya Allah, jika lelaki itu bukan untukku, kau jauhkanlah aku daripada perasaaan ini, tetapi sekiranya benarlah lelaki itu jodohku, kau permudahkanlah jodoh kami, dan jauhkanlah kami daripada bisikan syaitan yang direjam. amin ya rabbal alamin

single

i just realized this evening how sensitive i was when talking bout relationship thing. it hurts when people say that you're single because you're being too choosy and demanding - i felt like crying when people judged me without understanding the situation here. i'm nothing but a plain, boring person, yes i know that, how can man likes me? but please, don't say it so casually like i'm a heartless person. i do have feelings, i do like someone, i do feel happy when i see him, but nothing's right for me. i keep falling for the wrong guys, and it took a very long period to recover from it, my heart is not designed to handle this, i'm tired of crying. seriously.

don't get me wrong, i'm not that desperate to get a boyfriend.just accept the fact that i am single and don't let it bother you. it's not your problem. it's me we're talking about, don't easily tell me to accept this or that guy just because he's single too, especially when you know who's exactly in my heart. my heart isn't a ball that you can pass around, it's very fragile - for your information.

i don't care if you say that i'm being emotional here, yes i am, it's my blog by the way, remember? so to anyone out there, before you say anything, think first. to those who are concerned, just wait for my wedding day card okay. that's all then, bye bye

wounded

agree with the statement : let time heals the wounds. it is a good medicine, especially for someone with not a very good memory, like me. i remember being betrayed by someone before, but i forgot how it hurts, when time passed i realized that i can forgive that person. once the feeling's gone, everything's going to be okay.

hope it works this time around.even though the situation is different.

how i wish i have some sort of feeling's controller, i can control how much to be sad, how much to be happy, how much to get angry...but life isn't that easy right?

a major FLAW for this medicine, i don't know how much 'dose' that needed to be consumed till it's works and i'm okay...no doctor can be referred, just let time heals the wounds

i am me

Don't lose who you are in the blurs of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing

It's okay not to be okay

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising

Just be true to who you are

who you are

hard to swallow

have you been in a situation where you are not the one who cause the problem, but being blamed because you are the one who explaining the situation on behalf of the guilty person? to make it worse, you and the misunderstood person already in an awkward situation due to some arguments. WELL, THAT'S MY SITUATION RIGHT NOW. i hate it because if i tell them who is responsible for it, it'll looks like i'm blaming someone else to save my face but if if didn't tell them who, they thought that it was me who is guilty! and the real guilty person is not even being blamed, it's not fair isn't it? i wish someone will explain everything for me...even though it's just a small problem, it can cause riot you know, especially when it's involving someone close to you, oh my....

i'm sorry

i would like to dedicate this post to my precious friends here in miri : emmi,fiqie,bob and sap

i'm sorry for breaking the promise i made

i'm sorry for causing distress and inconveniences

i'm sorry for withdrawing myself from the plan on the last minutes

i'm really sorry :'(

And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess is a god's test,
Someone help us cause we're doing our best,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

if you stay

sarawak

hello blogger!
miss my blog so much...too many updates n i dunno where to start, i promise i'll wrote everything once we hv streamyx here, maybe in 1 week, i wish!

for time being, what can i say is there r ups and downs here being far from family,it's challenging but interesting experience... i value my friends here a lot, i don't how to survive without them. thanks guys!

sik tauk bah maok padah pa, lamak glak sik tulis,kmk blank! kelak kmk tulis pjg2...