Dear Me,

1. Put Allah at first place.
2. Don't force yourself for something that later on will hurt you.
3. You're responsible for your own happiness.
4. Be confident! 
5. Love yourself before loving someone else.
6. Imagine yourself in their position. You won't like it, right?
7. Last but not least, expect less, pray a lot! Keep the faith!!

teacher

“You think I want to be your teacher?!”

Aku masih teringatkan ayat itu walaupun ayat itu diungkapkan semasa zaman persekolahan aku dulu. Ketika itu barangkali guru kelas aku sakit hati dan kecewa dengan markah ujian kami. Beliau dengan penuh emosi dan amarahnya memberitahu betapa dia membenci jawatannya sebagai seorang guru Bahasa Inggeris. Katanya, jika bukan dia tidak dapat menyambung pelajarannya di bidang perakaunan, mana mungkin dia menjadi seorang guru hari ini. Sebagai seorang murid yang bakal menduduki peperiksaan tidak lama lagi, aku terkesima. Tergamak seorang guru melepaskan marahnya kepada murid-muridnya apabila dia gagal mendapatkan apa yang dimahukannya. Sedangkan itu keputusannya sendiri. Aku marah dan kecewa apatah lagi bila beliau bertindak melayan istimewa kepada murid-murid kegemarannya sahaja dan melayan kami yang selebihnya seperti sampah masyarakat. Seperti orang yang tiada masa depan. Tentulah sekali aku tergolong dalam kategori yang selebihnya itu.

Ketika keputusan peperiksaan diumumkan, beliau mengucapkan tahniah malah mengatakan beliau berbangga dengan keputusan itu. Satu ciuman di pipi diberikan buatku oleh seorang guru yang dahulunya tidak pernah mengambil tahu tentang murid-murid selain kegemarannya. Sekali lagi aku terkesima. Terkesima dengan tindakan yang bagi aku seperti menjilat ludah sendiri.

Tapi itu semua cerita lama. Aku tahu tidak wajar untukku mengungkit-ungkitnya kembali. Aku tidaklah berdendam dengan guru itu, tidak sama sekali.

Cuma aku terkenangkan kisahnya yang sangat membenci profesyennya sebagai seorang guru sehingga menempelak murid-muridnya hanya gara-gara beliau tidak dapat menjadi seorang akauntan. Aku terasa seperti aku berada di situasinya sekarang.

Aku masih belajar dan memaksa diriku untuk menjadi seorang jurutera awam.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,

Sekiranya benar dialah untukku, kau tunjukkanlah kami jalan yang halal dan permudahkanlah jalan itu ya Allah. Dan sekiranya dia bukanlah untukku, kau berikanlah petunjuk dan jauhkanlah kami daripada permainan hati ini.

Sesungguhnya Engkau lah Maha Mengetahui.

the call

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

I miss him, seriously. 

oh gedik, I am.

end of hiatus

I have weddings to attend and that's how I end of my hiatus, InsyaAllah. I'm quite calm at the thought of working life which kinda amuse me because usually I get super panic from the over-thinking, haha... I'm still expecting lots of emotions ups and downs in the future but hey, that's what makes life interesting, isn't it? For now, I just want to focus on things that make me happy and one of it will be the wedding trip tomorrow! All of my good friends will be there and I bet it won't be just a wedding, it'll be a great school reunion! :) It feels great to see the good old friends and I still can't believe we left the school almost 7 years ago. How time flies and now, many of them are getting married/engaged and some of them are already married with kid or expecting. 

Whoa. I feel like an adult already.

Wait. I am an adult. Urgghhh that denial stage, nevermind. I'm still young at heart.


Whoa.

true story

sedekah

Syaikh Abdul Hadi adalah seorang imam di sebuah masjid di Syria. Pada suatu hari anaknya jatuh sakit. Sudah puas dia berusaha mengubatnya tetapi tidak juga sembuh. Hatinya sedih kerana dia seperti orang lain amat menyayangi anaknya itu. Sudah puas dia memikirkan apa yang patut dilakukan tetapi pada masa yang sama meneruskan solatnya.

Ketika dia ingin mengambil wuduk, dia teringat firman Allah SWT "Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan sabar dan (mengerjakan) solat", Al-Baqarah, ayat 45. Syaikh Abdul Hadi juga teringat pada sebuah hadis dari Abu Umamah Al-Bahili r.a. yang menyebyt sabda Rasulullah SAW, "Ubatlah orang sakit di antara kalian dengan bersedekah".

Syaikh Abdul Hadi termenung dan timbul pertanyaan kepada siapa beliau harus bersedekah pada lewat malam? Siapa yang akan menerima sedekahnya? Tanpa diduga Allah SWT segera mengirim jawapan apabila Syaikh Abdul Hadi mendengar suara kucing kelaparan. Dia pulang ke rumah mendapatkan sekeping daging. Bukankah menolong haiwan juga sedekah? Dia memberi daging itu pada kucing yang lapar tadi.

Apabila pulang ke rumah, isterinya bercerita, ketika anaknya yang tidak sihat itu berada dalam gendongannya, tiba-tiba seekor burung besar berwarna hitam datang dari arah langit untuk menyambarnya. Beliau terus memeluknya tanpa berfikir apa yang patut dilakukan. Namun, secara tiba-tiba, datang seekor kucing yang menerkam. Burung itu pun terbang lari.

Syaikh Abdul Hadi tersenyum gembira. Keesokan harinya dengan izin Allah, anaknya sihat dan mula boleh bermain-main bersama kawannya. Itu tentunya berkat sedekah kepada kucing.

new phase

Good things happen to those who waits. True indeed!

I'm moving to a new phase in my life, soon and I am happy to share it with you, my readers! I am very excited and nervous at the same time, let's pray everything will go smoothly, InsyaAllah... To those who's wondering and might get wrong idea about it, I'm talking about entering the working life, not the marriage. Nop. I still have looooooong way to go with that ;D

Well, I've received my offer letter and currently filling those documents needed and InsyaAllah, if Allah wills, I'll start my work as an engineer (executive) on Civil Design Onshore this 18th Feb 2013. Less than 3 weeks left, I'm so excited! :)

I guess that's it! till next time, have a nice day people!

falling

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Mood that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

*I want a duet partner for this song, anyone? :')

2+2=5

have faith

cravings

siput sedut masak lemak cili api

dim sum

I've been craving for these two delicious food like for a month already! Guess it's hard to find siput sedut these days as I've been looking for it at different places and failed! I just need to find maybe a kilo of it and leave it to my grandmother, she'll do her magic, her masak lemak cili api is the best! 

For the dim sum, I'm waiting for all-you-can-eat offer at Groupon since it's quite expensive to order it ala carte (about RM5 for 1 basket - 3 pieces of dim sum). I've been imagining myself eating at a restaurant with pile of empty dim sum baskets at my table (you never know how much I can eat dim sum!). Oh wait!, they do offer the dim sum buffet at low price right now! Click at the Groupon link above for the offer, and now I have to buy it! *sambil kira duit dalam dompet*

Gosh my mouth waters at the thought of endless dim sum that you can eat!

You know what, both scrumptious meals remind me of my dear room mate, Eira! She's not a fan of siput sedut of course, she won't eat it and I definitely cannot eat it in front of her. She'll run I believe! Hehe... Different story for the dim sum, she'll be my dim sum partner! Gotta tell her and make her buy the groupon offer too! Man, I miss our once-a-month food hunting routine!

Oh before I forgot, you can check the recipe for siput sedut masak lemak cili api as I took the picture from tiffinbiru, so mouth watering and delicious! I got hungry by just looking at the pictures of food, nyum2!

Do visit Groupon for the dim sum offer, just click the link below the picture (picture taken from Groupon). I can't wait to get my dim sum! Yeay!


p/s: this is not a sponsored post and I do not own the pictures

money

pardon me if I sound like a whining baby in this post, you don't have to read it anyway...

I'm tired of waiting actually, waiting for the employment which is still blurry and uncertain. I'm not saying that I'm a workaholic or so eager to be an engineer, but I'm tired of being helpless. It's killing me inside when I can't help my family with my own money. Well my family is not a poor one but we still have some money issues, I bet most of the families have. It just that you want to be part of it, where you help maybe by paying some bills, buying groceries  etc.

Even I have things that I want to buy for myself and the list is getting longer and longer, it all need money to begin with. With my own (future) salary.

This thing makes me wonder, did I want to get the job solely because of the money? It makes me feel bad because I need to love the job too! Honestly, being an engineer, sounds too fancy for me. I can't imagine myself as an engineer. I can only imagine myself getting pay check every end of month, guess I only love the money part. *sigh*

I hope I will get the job soon and learn to love it, it doesn't mean when I don't like it, it's not good for me. This time, I need to force myself. 

Well I'm starting to confuse myself with what I'm trying to say here, so let's end it here. 

Bye people!

new year?

My last day at Guardian yesterday (31 dec) marks the end of 2012 for me, 2012 definitely brought me to another level of matureness and experiences. I'm looking forward for a happy story ahead, not only for 2013 but also for the coming years. 

Having said that, 1st January 2013 means nothing much for me, I don't celebrate it, maybe because I don't see the reason except for being grateful that I'm still alive to see the day. I don't have new year resolutions either, well I used to have the list written somewhere on my board but I no longer do that these days. I prefer to have a 'Target List' rather than the new year resolutions because it's more realistic and up to date, you don't have to wait for a new year to achieve, update or amend your goals. I feel like when you do a new year resolutions list, you are like writing down the stuffs that you want to achieve just because the year is changing, not because you have to do it. I'm not sure whether you get what I mean but never mind, it's not that important, haha...

Anyway to those who have their resolutions and stuffs, I wish you all the best! I hope you'll achieve it and let's pray it won't be like in the picture below :P

Peace y'all :)