pardon me if I sound like a whining baby in this post, you don't have to read it anyway...
I'm tired of waiting actually, waiting for the employment which is still blurry and uncertain. I'm not saying that I'm a workaholic or so eager to be an engineer, but I'm tired of being helpless. It's killing me inside when I can't help my family with my own money. Well my family is not a poor one but we still have some money issues, I bet most of the families have. It just that you want to be part of it, where you help maybe by paying some bills, buying groceries etc.
Even I have things that I want to buy for myself and the list is getting longer and longer, it all need money to begin with. With my own (future) salary.
This thing makes me wonder, did I want to get the job solely because of the money? It makes me feel bad because I need to love the job too! Honestly, being an engineer, sounds too fancy for me. I can't imagine myself as an engineer. I can only imagine myself getting pay check every end of month, guess I only love the money part. *sigh*
I hope I will get the job soon and learn to love it, it doesn't mean when I don't like it, it's not good for me. This time, I need to force myself.
Well I'm starting to confuse myself with what I'm trying to say here, so let's end it here.