suffocated

trapped between two. i want my freedom. from this. but sometimes i love being trapped in here. don't want to get rationale. have to agree to my friend's fb status : if only i could lie to myself

words

"I sound stupid if I speak in Malay" - Sharifah Amani


Totally against that statement. Be true to yourself. I'm proud that I can speak in Malay fluently, but i have to admit that I do avoid writing in Malay because i don't want to sound 'jiwang' (errr can't find suitable English word for this one). Can't help it coz i feel like if I'm writing in Malay, it'll convey more meaning than it should.heheh

That's why i prefer listening to English songs rather than Malay songs. Since English is my second language, it sounds less 'jiwang' when you say the lovey dovey words.LOL.

Plus, i like to use the lyrics to express my current feeling, i did check on the lyrics before i posted the videos on my fb/blog. Really enjoy using songs as the medium. Except when u shared wrong song to the wrong person -_-"

Anyway, song for my current situation : Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

sportswoman

i can say that last week was sport week for me, very SPORTY! it was fun and enjoyable with the netball and futsal tournament, i'm proud to join LOTUS team :)

tomorrow, we'll continue with volleyball tournament, hope we can give our best!!!

girlfriends

i'm seriously missing my past and present girlfriends, especially those who shared the laughter and pain with me... they r my backbone besides of my family, because of them, i made through till this point

thank you girls, i dedicate this post for you :)

Who You Are

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, 

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, 

There's nothing wrong with who you are

entri

baru tersedar, sejak dua menjak ni, entri blog banyak bertemakan perasaan.marah.benci.suka.duka.keliru.semua ada.

mungkin sebab blog tempat terbaik untuk luahkan apa yang tak terkongsi dengan keluarga dan rakan-rakan. tapi tak sangka, ada juga yang membaca, terima kasih kerana meluangkan masa ;)

cakap pasal hati, teringat sebelum ni pernah terdetik "kan best kalau ada orang suka aku, tak kisah lah kalau orang tu aku tak suka ke apa, asalkan ada orang suka aku". mungkin kata-kata tu telah menjadi doa yang termakbul. terlajak kata, menyesal rasanya. jangan dibuat main-main soal hati. bunyi memang macam best ada orang yang berminat dengan kita, tapi tidak lagi best apabila orang itu berpotensi membawa bahaya kepada anda.pening kepala. apatah lagi apabila ada orang lain di hati anda. mulalah hati berkata lagi "kan best kalau orang yang suka aku tu adalah orang yang aku suka" . nahhh, secara tak langsung terdoa lagi. bahaya lagi. tak semestinya orang yang kita suka tu adalah yang terbaik bagi kita.

hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Dia yang Maha Mengetahui. Subhanallah. jadi, sebelum keluarkan kata-kata, fikir dahulu.

Ya Allah, jika lelaki itu bukan untukku, kau jauhkanlah aku daripada perasaaan ini, tetapi sekiranya benarlah lelaki itu jodohku, kau permudahkanlah jodoh kami, dan jauhkanlah kami daripada bisikan syaitan yang direjam. amin ya rabbal alamin

single

i just realized this evening how sensitive i was when talking bout relationship thing. it hurts when people say that you're single because you're being too choosy and demanding - i felt like crying when people judged me without understanding the situation here. i'm nothing but a plain, boring person, yes i know that, how can man likes me? but please, don't say it so casually like i'm a heartless person. i do have feelings, i do like someone, i do feel happy when i see him, but nothing's right for me. i keep falling for the wrong guys, and it took a very long period to recover from it, my heart is not designed to handle this, i'm tired of crying. seriously.

don't get me wrong, i'm not that desperate to get a boyfriend.just accept the fact that i am single and don't let it bother you. it's not your problem. it's me we're talking about, don't easily tell me to accept this or that guy just because he's single too, especially when you know who's exactly in my heart. my heart isn't a ball that you can pass around, it's very fragile - for your information.

i don't care if you say that i'm being emotional here, yes i am, it's my blog by the way, remember? so to anyone out there, before you say anything, think first. to those who are concerned, just wait for my wedding day card okay. that's all then, bye bye